You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize