I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
