dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
