Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
