it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
No subtext here. People are naked.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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