I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
