Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
