Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
