a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
