i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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