well most of my day revolves around power hour
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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