We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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