You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
