I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize