last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
