his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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