Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
