Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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