I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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