So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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