Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
