Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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