He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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