we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
