Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
