everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hippo gnu deer
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize