I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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