My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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