It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
