Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
where are my eyebrows?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
