he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
