I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
