your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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