so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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