you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
