omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
