he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
