dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
