someone get that fucking seahorse.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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