Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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