I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
