Kiss
Puke
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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