I hate all girls vehemently.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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