Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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