New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
