its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
