I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
