I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
