dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
