I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
