masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
