I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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