Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
