i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
