found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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