I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
