hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize