he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
