As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My cat gives me a boner
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
