Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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