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No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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