so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
