when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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