please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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