the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
