After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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