Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
