remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
