U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
