Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize