i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
