i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
