Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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